When The World Loses...

The world lost a wonderful soul last night. When I met Andrew Ashwood he was the program director for the radio station that I worked for. I have never known anyone who was more passionate about life. He had a little ADD, but that was part of his charm. Below is a letter that a co-worker wrote about this man...and it epitomizes everything he was.

A LETTER FROM HEAVEN
"I thought I heard this last night"

Yeeaaah Babe. Talk to me babe. Whaatcha doing? What's the matter? I knew you loved me, but come on, why the sad face? This is great. Had I known it was going to be like this, I would have let the cancer get me sooner. Here's what we're going to do. I need you to let it all out, and then we gotta get back to work. I got this new big promotion and I need you on my team. It's going to be Huuuuuge!! babe.

Ready for this? huh? Guess who "yours truly" met today? Winning isn't everything, it's the only thing?.... give up? Vince Lombardi....AND Tom Landry. You know the big C got both of them. They met me at the gate to see how I did it. They heard it took a heart attack for the big man to get the Gorilla. After some talk about the Ice Bowl over a few "adult beverages" Lombardi wants ME to help HIM with a motivational book. Go figure. And Landry is a hoot. Who knew? Hate to admit it, but the hole in the roof thing so God can watch his favorite team? True. Damn.

Turns out, you can only reach so many people in radio, and with the world the way it is, the big guy says he needs me. Says I can do a lot more good from up here.
It's going to be awhile before you get here, but when you do, talk to Peter at the gate. Great guy, We're tight. Tell him you know me. Better yet, I'll be waiting for you. But if I'm not, hit me on my cell. Oh, by the way, Jesus says the long hair and beard? Never goes out of style, so Ha Says I shouldn't have cut it and sold out to the man. Didn't think I knew him either? Yeah, we were real close when I was young. Lost touch for awhile, but he was around a lot helping me with the chemo the past few years and we got to know each other better. It's been just like old times. You should get to know him.

As for the new gig? I'm getting the playbook ready. We'll meet soon and discuss. My house, I got brats, cold beverages etc. It will be fun. The big man wants me to see If I can get more people to live like I did. Veeeery cool huh? I'm blushing. First step: Slow down. Business is business, but you gotta have some fun. Slow down enjoy each other. Laugh out loud at least 5 times a day. Relationships over the bottom line. Love each other. Remember when I used to get so moved about something, my bottom lip would quiver? Didn't want you to see me cry, but now I don't care. You shouldn't care either. Cry.

Then let's talk. I'll be waiting for you. In the meantime, do me a favor. Hug the Puerto Rican. She's going to need you for awhile. God, was I lucky to have her. Oh, sorry, God says there was no luck involved. Oops. Anyway, let her know we talked and that it's going to be O.K. She already knows the game plan, she knows how much we laughed and loved. So I'll be waiting. The brats are hot, the "adult beverages" are cold. And remember, DARE TO BE GREAT. FAILURE IS NOT AN OPTION.

YEEEAH, BABE.. LUV YOU BABE.
Andrew

Also, within the last couple of weeks, 7 year-old Sean Gontz went on to heaven as well. It is always heart-breaking for someone to pass on, but it is almost a betrayal when a parent out-lives their child. It goes against the natural order of life and is truly something that I wouldn't even wish on the most miserable soul in the world.

You will both be missed more than you know and I know that you are smiling down from heaven on all of us still here trying to find a way to move on yet still remember.

Renaissance Festival

For our anniversary we went to the Texas Renaissance Festival, as usual. But this time, since it was our 5 year anniversary, we decided to do the "King's Feast". Basically, it is 6 courses of food and entertainment that lasts two hours. It was great...and I think that we will do it every time we go from now on. It was great fun!! I love Ren Faire...it always renews my interest in costuming (which hopefully I will be able to post about here)...and Doug and I always have fun!!
At the end of the event, they asked everyone with a birthday to stand and then anniversary. Doug and I were so excited to stand and say that we have been married for 5 years...then a couple behind us advised everyone that it was their 26th anniversary...damn.
Why does someone always have to steal our thunder?
Either way I am very proud of us. We have beat a statistic, since one in 12 couples head for divorce within 24 months.
Yeah for us!!
I love you Doug!

Homemade Pumpkin Pie

I have never been a fan of pumpkin pie.
I few weeks ago, I got a wild hair to make a pumpkin pie from scratch, and I don't mean "from a can" scratch. I mean, "cut a pumpkin, removes the seeds, roast it and puree it's insides" scratch.
I didn't take pictures and I used this recipe.
Let me just tell you...I am now a believer, and as with beets, I am very upset that I have spent 30 years not knowing the joy and wonder that is the homemade pumpkin pie. Amen.

Tractor Update...

It would have been my sincerest desire to not have to give tractor updates. But since we did not want to go into debt up to our eyeballs to get a tractor, we had to by an older model. That being said...it is currently out of commission. Apparently, it needs a new ignition switch. There are other minor items that we will be touching up as we go along.
Ideally, we will be fixing the ignition switch this weekend and can get some work done.
Quite frankly, I don't know where we are and where we are going with the property at the moment. Rather frustrating, actually. But then again, I haven't actually been out there in several weeks. I miss it.

Charity...

As one of my new personal goals, I have decided to knit or crochet at least one item to donate to charity per month. I had decided that I would start with baby hats. I figured that the best place to donate them to would be a women's hospital. I would be wrong. The first hospital I called hung up on me, and the second hospital asked if I was using flame retardant materials. Those people were supposed to call me back. I suppose I won't be hearing back from them since I just sat on the phone in stunned silence when they asked about my materials. Really? Do they set babies heads on fire often?

In the end, I found an organization that I am very happy to donate to. The woman I spoke with was very excited about my donations, and I mailed the first batch (4 hats) to her yesterday.

City Girl Lessons Learned V3.0 - Driving a Tractor

Is holy crap fun!!!!



1. Not matter how fat your butt is, it will be sore after riding in that hard metal seat.
2. If you are trying to look at someone or something, grass will immediately fly up and hit you in the face, blinding you and causing an involuntary flailing of the arms which makes you look as though you are being attacked by a swarm of bees, which will cause you to veer off course and look like an idiot.
3. Most old tractors do not come with power steering...so your arms will want to give out on you...most likely in the middle of a turn, which will cause you to veer off course and look like an idiot, again. I promise.
4. Thankfully, items #2 & #3 were not caught on video for those of you who were looking for it. Thank you.
5. At the end of the day (if this is your first time), then you have done something that you have never done before...and that alone is worth being proud of.

One of THOSE Conversations...

Doug and I worked on our living wills, wills, and power of attorney paperwork the other night. That was a very tough conversation. It's one thing to mention in passing that you want a big party when you die..."just don't piss on my ashes", but to have to sit down and actually type that up and click the buttons is a whole different can of worms (pun intended). What was realy odd was that when Doug was talking about his wishes...I was okay.

But then we came to mine and I couldn't help but start crying. Go figure...until I realized that I sincerely hope that Doug does not outlive me.

And before you start thinking I'm a selfish heinous person, it's because I don't want him to have to go through that. I don't want him to have to go through having me creamated, and seeing an urn in the living room, or whatever room (probably the bathroom - just please don't mistake me for cat litter). The pain of calling out to me and I'm not there. Or missing my touch when we pass by each other, or my voice, or my cold butt/feet on his body in the middle of the night. Or missing me calling out body-parts in German as we lay in bed on Sunday mornings.

I don't want him to feel that sadness...and I only know what kind of sadness he would feel because I would/will feel it when he is gone too and that hurts me more than anything.

I Love You, mein Shatz!