The Native's

Being a Native Texan, I imagine that there is some competition between Texans and Californians. Of course we each think that our home is better than the other’s. Perhaps it’s imaginary, but at least my home is better. The native’s that I met in San Diego were wonderful. From Jullianne, the concierge, to the taxi driver that took me to hell and back for a battery, where very friendly and open. Alex, the Ukranian driver that took us to dinner at Peohe’s, said that it was because 9 out of 10 people in San Diego are not originally from there. Okay…I’ll buy that for $20 (hey...California is expensive). I was starting to think Alex was right when Doug and I took a cab to Seaport Village on Wednesday. As a common courtesy, Doug and I always ask how their day is going. Bad choice…the response we got was “Not good at all…horrible, actually, but thanks for asking”. Perhaps this should have been my cue to ask to be dropped of at the next corner. But I’m a glutton for punishment. The conversation continues:

ME: I’m sorry to hear that. Pause.

Taxi driver: We’ll it’s just really slow, and I’m trying to make some money, but I’m tired, and this shift sucks.

DOUG: (deer-in-the-headlights look)

ME: (in my head) Holy crap, will I die if I jump out now? Trying to remember that stupid formula from school. If a car going towards Seaport Village at 35mph, and another car headed the other direction at 35mph were to suddenly become connected by the body of a 29 year old female trying to escape certain death. Would anyone hear it?

DOUG: I’m surprised to hear that since the primaries are here this week.

ME to Doug: (mouthed) Are you crazy? Don’t encourage it!!

Taxi driver: You know this city used to be so great, but then (and I considered myself to be pretty liberal) immigration became a problem and everyone wanted to come here and now it’s just run over with reptilian urges…

ME: Do you take credit cards?

Taxi driver: I prefer cash...and people not caring about others and not caring about government taking over for them. It was only since Bush took office that the free clinics went away…

ME: I thought we asked for a cab to Seaport Village…not Crazytown, population: one pissed off old cab driver. All I have is a credit card…

Taxi driver: Fine…do you have the card? (ten minutes before the destination – AND HE STARTS RUNNING IT WHILE DRIVING!) So when they took out the clinics, things started getting better…

Meanwhile, DOUG: Chuckle, chuckle, chuckle…So do you think there is a candidate that can really solve the issues?

ME: HONEY…I will never have your children if you do not stop encouraging the crazy man!!

Taxi driver: No…they are all taken over by their reptilian urges to even know how to effectively run a country. Oh…I missed the turn…I can get you in at the next turn. Anyway, we don’t stand much of a chance.

ME: Well that’s lovely to hear…can I have my card? And is there anyway that I can make sure you are NOT our cab driver for the ride home? Better yet, I’ll just swim. Have a lovely day.

FYI…Jullianne, the concierge is a native San Diegan…and the charming, psycho taxi driver was NOT (though he was old enough to have founded the city and had been there since 1958)…so…Alex’s theory didn’t work out.