The Thinker

For some reason, over the past few days, I have had the feeling that I had nothing to write about. This is the exact same thing I go through with journal writing. In all honesty, starting a blog is probably not the best idea I have ever had. My journaling history has been sporadic, at best. I would lose my motivation, and then decide I need to start writing down my feelings. Great! That will help…because it has worked so well in the past. Funny how easily we can lie to ourselves.

I would start a new journal. Usually, I would have to go out and buy a new journal…because I couldn’t allow my new thoughts to be tainted by my previously thought thoughts. Hello all! Welcome to Crazyland, Population: Melissa! For the first few days (read:hours), things were great! I was Zen and writing down all of my thoughts and getting them out of my system, but then I would get lazy. I don’t need to journal? What’s the point? What good is it doing? I know what I am thinking…why do I need to write it down. Now, I’m not feeling calm anymore…and so death comes to my journaling journey….yet again. Please don’t think I am kidding. At last count I have about 16 different journals that are not complete. I do, however, have 1 (ONE) that is about ¾ complete….that was progress people. Notice...was.

What IN THE WORLD makes me think that I should be blogging? I have been thinking about this for a few days…and I think I have figured it out. Accountability. I actually have a lot of things to write about, but for whatever reason I just don’t (possibly also because I am not a very good writer). Well, now, I have an audience, albeit a small one, that may or may not be waiting to see what I have to say…in all of its crazy, poorly written glory!! That’s pretty cool. Now I can get it out there in the open. Obviously, there will be some things I won’t discuss here…but if it’s any consolation, I probably won’t write them in my shiny, new… and empty journal either.