Confession

I have a confession to make.

I can not wait to turn 40.

I want to reach that point when other peoples' opinions of me really don't matter. Many people can say at various ages that they don't care what other's think. I have not reached that point. I love seeing women in their 40's and 50's who are confident and carry themselves with a certain air. Something that says I have lived life...

It may not be like your life, but it is mine, and it is perfect. Regardless of what it has been in the eyes of others. Regardless of whether it has been anyone elses idea of perfect or not. It has been lived...and that is enough. That it is not about a comparison or being better than someone else. We all are just who we are and that is okay. Period.

I have had my own dreams and goals...and I have either achieved them, or I am busting my ass now to achieve them. But even more than that. It is about achieving those goals because it is something you want. Not as a comparison to someone else or someone else dreams. They just are what they are. My dreams. Not mine because someone else thinks they should be mine. But mine because I have spent hours, and days, and years wanting them and working for them.

Perhaps its not the number per se, maybe it's just the experience or wisdom. Whichever it is, I can't wait.

The Dolphin Tamer and I went to dinner last night and as we were eating dinner, in walked this fabulous group of older women (most likely over 50) all wearing red hats of varying sizes, shapes and levels of outrageousness. I was in heaven and in fact was trying to work out a plan to adopt each and every one of them as my grandmother. I was hoping their fabulousness would wear off on me.

I told DT that I couldn't wait until I was older so that I could wear big, fabulous hats in public. It falls in line with having the confidence and wisdom that I was talking about above. Perhaps I will have reached that level when I can confidently go out in public with an outrageous hat and not be concerned with what the people think.